so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it glows. i had to have it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize