if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
