also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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