Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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