He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
