I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Randomize
