I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
