Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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