i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just gift wrapped bread.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You took a bar mat shot.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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