you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
accomplished twins. life is a go
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
