pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
