I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I think i peed on brittanys purse
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
