Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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