yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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