Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
