I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
