oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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