I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
