party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
