is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
