North Korea, Best Korea!
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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