it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
