Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
