just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
