K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
