No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
