Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
