We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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