did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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