Pants 0. Shit 1.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize