i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
