i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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