Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Semen is not good for contacts.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
