my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
