you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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