that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
