Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
