that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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