yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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