i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
