I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
vagina is talking i cant
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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