Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
