Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
