Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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