It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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