I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
