office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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