i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
