the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
