Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
