its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
