i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
