Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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