My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's shark week go big or go home
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
