just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
