at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
