Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Terrible idea I love it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize