He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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