Where did you get a picture of my penis
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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