i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
