Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
