Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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