So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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