curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize