Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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